Item 1 - Video!

[sneakykidwiththehair]

[Public]

[Video clicks on, and lo! It's a teenage boy with a shock of grey hair. He's walking as he talks, wandering the halls of the Barge apparently aimlessly.]

Uh, hey, I don't wanna cause a stink, but there's been some kind of terrible mistake here. My- uh, my parents, are going to be losing their minds back home in New Jersey...

[There might be something ever so slightly shifty about how he says this, but then again, he is a recently deceased teenage boy. He could easily just be nervous.]

All of this-- this inmate stuff? Yeah, you definitely got the wrong guy for that. I got a perfectly normal, crime free life, back home with my family. Yes, we cheat on our taxes and have the occasional three am family-document-shredding-party, but who doesn't? By nine am we're back to pancakes and oatmeal, and that, [decisive finger jab at the screen.] Is how you live the American dream, right?

[Private to Inmates]

So, does anyone ever actually escape from this place?

Comments

[sneakykidwiththehair]

They didn't? Heh, weird. But hey, at least the school system's still teaching the right values I guess...

[sneakykidwiththehair]

What, so there's no appeals process? I guess I figured a prison for cosmically evil beings would have a bunch of lawyers attached...

Inmates

[sneakykidwiththehair]

[he goes to answer, then stops, because he sees you, Arthas. He sees your long, prematurely white hair. Then he remembers that none of this is real, and disappointment swims with irritation in response.]

Sure, I'll just trust you implicitly, do exactly as I'm told, and all will be well, right?

[Private to Inmates]

[maced_eggs]

On, don't go saying shite like that. Makes everything complicated.

[Private to Inmates]

[sneakykidwiththehair]

Fine, you wanna accept that you're a murderer, be my guest. Maybe you have to accept it. Maybe it's in the script. Maybe even this is in the script...

inmate;

[heavenlymisandrist]

They do not. Your protests are meaningless.

[ Ceres is such a sweetheart, isn't she? ]

inmate;

[sneakykidwiththehair]

Yeah, I'm starting to get that. Budget restrictions, right?

[since none of this is real and all...]

private

[versusnurture]

Written out? [What the hell does that mean, friend.]

Yeah. I guess. I've been here for a while.

Abigail.

[fireincarnate]

Rules are made to be bent?

[strangehistorian]

I don't like to think of it as a prison, more of a rehabilitation facility!

Inmates

[darknessb4me]

If you want to go through the process of learning everything I already know on your own, be my guest.

private

[sneakykidwiththehair]

Yeah. You know, left on the cutting room floor?

I recently found out that the whole world was made up by some guy called Jose Schaffer. It runs to a script.

I'm Dash.

[sneakykidwiththehair]

If you're gonna lie, cheat, and steal, better doing it to the IRS than anyone else.

[sneakykidwiththehair]

You think of this place as a rehab? Do we have to do all that, touchy feely, twelve step program, circle of trust stuff?

Inmates

[sneakykidwiththehair]

[He falls quiet again briefly, to just blankly stare at Arthas for a moment.]

Are you saying if I don't wanna go through that process, you're just gonna tell me it all for free?

inmate;

[heavenlymisandrist]

It is simply the nature of this prison.

inmate;

[sneakykidwiththehair]

Inescapable prison. Convenient for some I guess.

inmate;

[heavenlymisandrist]

More convenient than death, for some.

[strangehistorian]

I'm not sure what that is, but there's no set formula for an individual inmate's progress.

Inmates

[darknessb4me]

I just told you the answer to your question. That's all that's relevant.

[patheticvillain]

I just used to live right near there, that's why I'm surprised.

I'm a warden. I have ways.

[Private to Inmates]

[maced_eggs]

You sound like me when I've gotten ahold of mushrooms.

inmate

[walkthedarkpath]

Not that I have heard of, sadly.

[Private]

[youwill]

My American dream involves [murdering people horribly] sleeping at three A.M.

I'm afraid I don't know New Jersey very well. [This may or may not be a lie.] Where do your parents live?

[He's putting emphasis on his parents for a reason: it sounded like it had the potential to be a stumbling block.]

[freezerburns]

Yeah, definitely never had a family-document-shredding-party.