Item 1 - Video!

[sneakykidwiththehair]

[Public]

[Video clicks on, and lo! It's a teenage boy with a shock of grey hair. He's walking as he talks, wandering the halls of the Barge apparently aimlessly.]

Uh, hey, I don't wanna cause a stink, but there's been some kind of terrible mistake here. My- uh, my parents, are going to be losing their minds back home in New Jersey...

[There might be something ever so slightly shifty about how he says this, but then again, he is a recently deceased teenage boy. He could easily just be nervous.]

All of this-- this inmate stuff? Yeah, you definitely got the wrong guy for that. I got a perfectly normal, crime free life, back home with my family. Yes, we cheat on our taxes and have the occasional three am family-document-shredding-party, but who doesn't? By nine am we're back to pancakes and oatmeal, and that, [decisive finger jab at the screen.] Is how you live the American dream, right?

[Private to Inmates]

So, does anyone ever actually escape from this place?

Comments

[sneakykidwiththehair]

They didn't? Heh, weird. But hey, at least the school system's still teaching the right values I guess...

[fireincarnate]

Rules are made to be bent?

[sneakykidwiththehair]

If you're gonna lie, cheat, and steal, better doing it to the IRS than anyone else.

[fireincarnate]

Right? You need to direct all that in the right places. [...Okay, that's a little too sincere for this conversation.]

I'm Jean, by the way. I've been a Warden here for - a while.

[sneakykidwiththehair]

You're kidding? I thought wardens were meant to be the good guys...

[not the guys who promoted tax evasion to minors!]

[fireincarnate]

Shades of grey, young padawan.