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[Video clicks on, and lo! It's a teenage boy with a shock of grey hair. He's walking as he talks, wandering the halls of the Barge apparently aimlessly.]
Uh, hey, I don't wanna cause a stink, but there's been some kind of terrible mistake here. My- uh, my parents, are going to be losing their minds back home in New Jersey...
[There might be something ever so slightly shifty about how he says this, but then again, he is a recently deceased teenage boy. He could easily just be nervous.]
All of this-- this inmate stuff? Yeah, you definitely got the wrong guy for that. I got a perfectly normal, crime free life, back home with my family. Yes, we cheat on our taxes and have the occasional three am family-document-shredding-party, but who doesn't? By nine am we're back to pancakes and oatmeal, and that, [decisive finger jab at the screen.] Is how you live the American dream, right?
[Private to Inmates]
So, does anyone ever actually escape from this place?
[Video clicks on, and lo! It's a teenage boy with a shock of grey hair. He's walking as he talks, wandering the halls of the Barge apparently aimlessly.]
Uh, hey, I don't wanna cause a stink, but there's been some kind of terrible mistake here. My- uh, my parents, are going to be losing their minds back home in New Jersey...
[There might be something ever so slightly shifty about how he says this, but then again, he is a recently deceased teenage boy. He could easily just be nervous.]
All of this-- this inmate stuff? Yeah, you definitely got the wrong guy for that. I got a perfectly normal, crime free life, back home with my family. Yes, we cheat on our taxes and have the occasional three am family-document-shredding-party, but who doesn't? By nine am we're back to pancakes and oatmeal, and that, [decisive finger jab at the screen.] Is how you live the American dream, right?
[Private to Inmates]
So, does anyone ever actually escape from this place?
[Private to Inmates]
Date: 2014-09-15 11:16 am (UTC)From:[Private to Inmates]
Date: 2014-09-15 12:12 pm (UTC)From:[Private to Inmates]
Date: 2014-09-16 02:01 am (UTC)From:[Private to Inmates]
Date: 2014-09-16 07:42 pm (UTC)From:[What's this guy talking abo-- Oh wait.]
Oh, mushrooms! I get it. Well, yeah, I guess maybe the hippies were on to something, if that's what it takes for you to realize that the world ain't real.
[Private to Inmates]
Date: 2014-09-17 11:11 am (UTC)From:[Private to Inmates]
Date: 2014-09-17 11:18 am (UTC)From:[Private to Inmates]
Date: 2014-09-17 11:26 am (UTC)From:[Dumb, gullible Mason]
[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-17 02:08 pm (UTC)From:So one day in this weird town, I wake up, and there's this film script on my doormat, and when I start reading it, it's like, the whole town comes apart around me, and I'm on this film set, and the people in this town who think they're all real, are all there, only they're just actors following a script, and word from the network is that our whole crummy little town is about to get cancelled.
Director calls action, our last episode gets filmed, and I get one last day in Eerie before waking up here. We're on an inescapable prison barge in outerspace that no one else seems to find weird, and I? Personally? Am getting a touch of déjà vu.
[He feels weirdly triumphant, laying it all out like that.]
You think you're the grim reaper? I say you're dark british comedy. What you aint is real.
[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-18 01:01 am (UTC)From:And scared shitless]
Hang on. Hang on, no, that can't be fuckin' right. Someone's having a laugh, playing a trick on you, mate. That's not real. I mean, your not thinking it's real, that's not real.
[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-18 08:17 pm (UTC)From:[Dash shrugs his shoulders.]
Believe it or don't. You might not even have a choice. All depends on the script, I guess.
[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-18 09:12 pm (UTC)From:I don't believe you.
I don't believe I could have gone 60 bloody years without knowing whether something's real or not.
[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-18 10:02 pm (UTC)From:We are not real. None of us. None of this.
[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-19 02:04 am (UTC)From:[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-19 10:41 pm (UTC)From:[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-20 04:03 pm (UTC)From:Anyway. How do you know the guy with the Hollywood typewriter's life isn't the one that's made up?
[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-21 02:24 pm (UTC)From:Look, I'm not saying your life isn't weird, Eerie was weird too, but that's fiction for you. Monsters, cults, the undead, all that weird stuff is what horror movies are made of.
It really never even occurred to you? You never even thought that your life was just too weird to be real?
[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-22 12:32 am (UTC)From:My afterlife's a bit of a different story. But who the fuck would want to watch people dying all the time? It's not interesting. An' it never changes, for forty fuckin' years.
Look, I own a television. I think people would start recognizing me as a movie star otherwise.
[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-22 01:02 am (UTC)From:And people don't notice in here, because none of them are real either. If you ever made it to the real world, everyone would call you something different, and they'd all think you were an actor.
[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-22 01:04 am (UTC)From:Fuck off. You don't know what the fuck you're on about.
[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-22 01:27 am (UTC)From:[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-22 01:28 am (UTC)From:[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-22 01:38 am (UTC)From:[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-22 01:40 am (UTC)From:[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-22 01:49 am (UTC)From:[Private to Mason alone!]
Date: 2014-09-22 01:49 am (UTC)From:Extraordinarily high offense.
[Private to Mason alone!]
From:[Private to Mason alone!]
From:[Private to Mason alone!]
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