Item 1 - Video!

[sneakykidwiththehair]

[Public]

[Video clicks on, and lo! It's a teenage boy with a shock of grey hair. He's walking as he talks, wandering the halls of the Barge apparently aimlessly.]

Uh, hey, I don't wanna cause a stink, but there's been some kind of terrible mistake here. My- uh, my parents, are going to be losing their minds back home in New Jersey...

[There might be something ever so slightly shifty about how he says this, but then again, he is a recently deceased teenage boy. He could easily just be nervous.]

All of this-- this inmate stuff? Yeah, you definitely got the wrong guy for that. I got a perfectly normal, crime free life, back home with my family. Yes, we cheat on our taxes and have the occasional three am family-document-shredding-party, but who doesn't? By nine am we're back to pancakes and oatmeal, and that, [decisive finger jab at the screen.] Is how you live the American dream, right?

[Private to Inmates]

So, does anyone ever actually escape from this place?

Comments

[strangehistorian]

Well, if it works that's... good!

[That seems very strange but she won't be rude.]

[sneakykidwiththehair]

You don't see much of it here though, I guess.

[strangehistorian]

Not really! As I said, there is no one formula for an inmate's rehabilitation!

[sneakykidwiththehair]

So, do you have an inmate? What's the formula for him?

[strangehistorian]

Her!

Well, obviously that is a private matter between myself and my inmate but learning to accept that life won't always be terrible is a good start!

[sneakykidwiththehair]

Heh. That's gotta be a tough sell.

[strangehistorian]

We are making progress.