Item 1 - Video!

[sneakykidwiththehair]

[Public]

[Video clicks on, and lo! It's a teenage boy with a shock of grey hair. He's walking as he talks, wandering the halls of the Barge apparently aimlessly.]

Uh, hey, I don't wanna cause a stink, but there's been some kind of terrible mistake here. My- uh, my parents, are going to be losing their minds back home in New Jersey...

[There might be something ever so slightly shifty about how he says this, but then again, he is a recently deceased teenage boy. He could easily just be nervous.]

All of this-- this inmate stuff? Yeah, you definitely got the wrong guy for that. I got a perfectly normal, crime free life, back home with my family. Yes, we cheat on our taxes and have the occasional three am family-document-shredding-party, but who doesn't? By nine am we're back to pancakes and oatmeal, and that, [decisive finger jab at the screen.] Is how you live the American dream, right?

[Private to Inmates]

So, does anyone ever actually escape from this place?

Comments

[Private to Mason alone!]

[maced_eggs]

I take high offense to that statement.

Extraordinarily high offense.

[Private to Mason alone!]

[sneakykidwiththehair]

Tell it to Chinese counterfeit Stephen Fry.

[Private to Mason alone!]

[maced_eggs]

Fuck off! Fuck off, you shite little punk!

[Private to Mason alone!]

[sneakykidwiththehair]

[NOISY CACKLING!!!]

[And then he fucks off.]